I didn't write this, but, after I got through laughing, I knew I'd be re-posting it.... because, "We deserve it"!
I’m against the $85 Billion bailout of AIG.
Instead, I’m in favor of giving $85 Billion to America in
a We Deserve It Dividend.
To make the math simple, let’s assume there are 200,000,000 bona fide U.S. Citizens 18+.
Our population is about 301,000,000 +/- counting every man, woman and child. So 200,000,000 might be a fair stab at adults 18 and up..
So divide 200 million adults 18+ into $85 billion - that equals $425,000.00.
My plan is to give $425,000 to every person 18+ as a We Deserve It Dividend.
Of course, it would NOT be tax free.
So let’s assume a tax rate of 30%.
Every individual 18+ has to pay $127,500.00 in taxes.
That sends $25 ½ Billion right back to Uncle Sam.
But it means that every adult 18+ has $297,500.00 in their pocket.
A husband and wife has $595,000.00.
What would you do with $297,500.00 to $595,000 in your family?
Pay off your mortgage – housing crisis solved.
Repay college loans – what a great boost to new grads
Put away money for college – it’ll be there
Save in a bank – create money to loan to entrepreneurs.
Buy a new car – create jobs
Invest in the market – capital drives growth
Pay for your parent’s medical insurance – health care improves
Enable Deadbeat Dads to come clean – or else
Remember this is for every adult U S Citizen 18+, including the folks who lost their jobs at Lehman Brothers and every other company that is cutting back, and of course, for those serving in our Armed Forces.
After all, don’t they deserve something too?
If we’re going to re-distribute wealth let’s really do it...instead of trickling out a puny $1000.00 (“vote buy”) economic incentive that is being proposed by one of our candidates for President.
If we’re going to do an $85 billion bailout, let’s bail out every adult U S Citizen 18+!
As for AIG – liquidate it. Sell off its parts. Let American General go back to being American General, or put the money collected towards our national debt!
Sell off the real estate. Let the private sector bargain hunters cut it up and clean it up.
After all, everyone will have $297K - $595K to spend!
Here’s my rationale. We deserve it and AIG doesn’t. Neither does Wall Strett. The fat cats there already made their Commissions! They’ll get a check too.
Sure it’s a crazy idea that can “never work.””
But can you imagine the Coast-To-Coast Block Party!
How do you spell Economic Boom?
I trust my fellow adult Americans to know how to use the $85 Billion. We Deserve It Dividend more than I do, the geniuses at AIG, or Washington DC.
And remember, this plan only really costs $59.5 Billion because $25.5 Billion is returned instantly in taxes to Uncle Sam.
Ahhh...I feel so much better getting that off my chest.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Well, the Muslims finally have their priorities straight
Photo: Reuters
Sheikh Muhammad Munajid claimed the mouse is "one of Satan's soldiers" and makes everything it touches impure.
But he warned that depictions of the creature in cartoons such as Tom and Jerry, and Disney's Mickey Mouse, had taught children that it was in fact loveable.
The cleric, a former diplomat at the Saudi embassy in Washington DC, said that under Sharia, both household mice and their cartoon counterparts must be killed.
Mr Munajid was asked to give Islam's teaching on mice during a religious affairs programme broadcast on al-Majd TV, an Arab television network.
According to a translation prepared by the Middle East Media Research Institute, an American press monitoring service, he said: "The mouse is one of Satan's soldiers and is steered by him.
"If a mouse falls into a pot of food – if the food is solid, you should chuck out the mouse and the food touching it, and if it is liquid – you should chuck out the whole thing, because the mouse is impure.
"According to Islamic law, the mouse is a repulsive, corrupting creature. How do you think children view mice today – after Tom and Jerry?
"Even creatures that are repulsive by nature, by logic, and according to Islamic law have become wonderful and are loved by children. Even mice.
"Mickey Mouse has become an awesome character, even though according to Islamic law, Mickey Mouse should be killed in all cases."
Last month Mr Munajid condemned the Beijing Olympics as the "bikini Olympics", claiming that nothing made Satan happier than seeing females athletes dressed in skimpy outfits.
whose fault is it?
My brother sent me an article...[ http://www.thedestinlog.com/opinion/government_6477___article.html/crisis_fix.html ]
that basically said this financial meltdown is the Governments fault....here was my response:
while there is plenty of blame to go around, to say that it is all the governments fault is bullshit.
the fundamental faults in order [ according to noted financial guru R. John Ichter ]
1. people… who took out mortgages they couldn’t pay back [ either out of the mistaken belief that they could “flip” the properties [ greed ] or stupidity [ not understanding the terms of the loan ]
2. Mortgage brokers …who aggressively pushed these sub prime loans to, in some cases, unsophisticated or fraudulent customers
3. Wall street… for aggressively packaging these bad loans and selling them to as safe investments to unsuspecting investors
4. Fannie and Freddie …for letting it happen [ they fall down the list because they enable these actions but aren’t directly responsible…..
5. Politicians…
In Bar parlance
Politicians are the liquor distributers
Fannie and Freddie own the bar
Wall st. is the bartender
mortgage brokers are the waitresses
and you are the one who goes to jail if you get drunk and crash your car
that basically said this financial meltdown is the Governments fault....here was my response:
while there is plenty of blame to go around, to say that it is all the governments fault is bullshit.
the fundamental faults in order [ according to noted financial guru R. John Ichter ]
1. people… who took out mortgages they couldn’t pay back [ either out of the mistaken belief that they could “flip” the properties [ greed ] or stupidity [ not understanding the terms of the loan ]
2. Mortgage brokers …who aggressively pushed these sub prime loans to, in some cases, unsophisticated or fraudulent customers
3. Wall street… for aggressively packaging these bad loans and selling them to as safe investments to unsuspecting investors
4. Fannie and Freddie …for letting it happen [ they fall down the list because they enable these actions but aren’t directly responsible…..
5. Politicians…
In Bar parlance
Politicians are the liquor distributers
Fannie and Freddie own the bar
Wall st. is the bartender
mortgage brokers are the waitresses
and you are the one who goes to jail if you get drunk and crash your car
ready to serve?
What is so unnerving about the candidacy of Sarah Palin is the degree to which she represents—and her supporters celebrate—the joyful marriage of confidence and ignorance. Watching her deny to Gibson that she had ever harbored the slightest doubt about her readiness to take command of the world's only superpower, one got the feeling that Palin would gladly assume any responsibility on earth:
"Governor Palin, are you ready at this moment to perform surgery on this child's brain?"
"Of course, Charlie. I have several boys of my own, and I'm an avid hunter."
"But governor, this is neurosurgery, and you have no training as a surgeon of any kind."
"That's just the point, Charlie. The American people want change in how we make medical decisions in this country. And when faced with a challenge, you cannot blink."
read the full article at Newsweek http://www.newsweek.com/id/160080
"Governor Palin, are you ready at this moment to perform surgery on this child's brain?"
"Of course, Charlie. I have several boys of my own, and I'm an avid hunter."
"But governor, this is neurosurgery, and you have no training as a surgeon of any kind."
"That's just the point, Charlie. The American people want change in how we make medical decisions in this country. And when faced with a challenge, you cannot blink."
read the full article at Newsweek http://www.newsweek.com/id/160080
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Don't worry, Sarah Palin is being protected from witches by Jesus
This would be funny if it weren't so scary...fast forward to the 9 minute mark to skip most of the Jeeezus shit.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
the only rap you are ever likely to learn something from
Courtesy of Thomas Sherman at the Sherman Foundation
Friday, September 19, 2008
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Beautiful inside his wallet forever
Breaking new ground and old traditions, modern British artist Damien Hirst raised 70.5 million pounds (That's 127 million dollars!) with his two day auction entitled Beautiful Inside My Head Forever - a record sale for a solo art auction.
Hirst eclipsed a 1993 sale of 88 pieces by Picasso, which sold for 20 million dollars. And, unlike most work, which is sold through galleries with up to a 50% commission, the bulk of Hirst's pieces were sold directly.
The auction results revealed a strong art buying market, despite the struggling economy, which pleased Hirst. "I love art and this proves I'm not alone and the future looks great for everyone!" he said of the auction.
The work of Damien Hirst deals mostly with death through preserved animals and brash displays of extravagance. The Golden Calf - a real calf adorned with 18-carat gold hoofs and horns, crowned with a gold disc, and preserved in a tank of formaldehyde - topped the auction and broke Hirst's personal best, selling for 10.3 million pounds. The Kingdom, a similarly preserved full tiger shark, sold for 9.5 million pounds.
Who buys that shiz?????
Hirst's most notorious piece, however, is also considered the most expensive piece in the contemporary art world. For The Love of God is a platinum skull blinged out with 8,601 diamonds, which sold for 50 million pounds.
You do the math!
When I was in high school I dissected a fetal pig. I kept mine preserved in alcohol and formaldehyde....if I had only known, I could have tried to make some money.
from Perez Hilton
Monday, September 15, 2008
who does this remind you of ???
I have to say that I pretty much hate all politicians...they are all, every one of them, lying scumbags, who will say anything they think will get them elected.
Watch this video and see an ad from about 20 years ago. Same shit different day. I am SO tired of it.
Bad review of " The Women " meets critique of Sara Palin
… it’s not that The Women is any damn good. Brother, please. It’s cinematic pus on the end of an ass pimple. No. It’s that, in this new world order of ours, where a woman should be shielded from questioning by male handlers and hidden away at all times (except to occasionally look pretty and deliver scripted speeches from a teleprompter), The Women actually jibes with how were supposed to view women in September of 2008 (hand it to the G.O.P., huh? Only a Republican could nominate a woman to be the second most powerful person in the United States and still set back women’s rights two decades)...But, please: I don’t want you to think that the gendered, 1950s humor in The Women, or the female stereotypes are a bad thing. The females in The Women are empowered, and by empowered, I mean completely self-involved, vapid, shallow, and unsympathetic, the sort of women who make Carrie Bradshaw look like Gloria fucking Steinem. But as a man, I feel I have a duty to protect the movie from criticism, because a woman should not be called upon to answer for herself. She should just stand there and look pretty. If it’s good enough for a vice-presidential nominee, it’s good enough for the cast and director of The Women.
From the Pajimba review of " The Women "
From the Pajimba review of " The Women "
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Chapel in Czech Republic made of human bones
Thomas Sherman from the Sherman Foundation [ his blog ] sent me this
Monday, September 8, 2008
Weekly Trivia update
Well the rest of the team did show up tonight....and we rocked. First place again, second week in a row.
Sample questions:
What is the meat in Weiner schnitzel?
What was the first foreign car manufacturer to open a plant in the US?
What is Myrrh [ from the christmas fable ]?
Where did Darwin first start to formulate his ideas on evolution and what ship was he on at the time?
In World War I and II the Germans called who " the ladies from hell"?
Sample questions:
What is the meat in Weiner schnitzel?
What was the first foreign car manufacturer to open a plant in the US?
What is Myrrh [ from the christmas fable ]?
Where did Darwin first start to formulate his ideas on evolution and what ship was he on at the time?
In World War I and II the Germans called who " the ladies from hell"?
Have you eaten at one of these pretentious restaurants?
“Hello, my name is Meghan, and I’m pleased to be your server tonight.”
“Hi, Meghan. What’s good here?”
“Have you ever dined with us before? No? Then please allow me a few minutes, bordering on a very brief and entertaining hour, to tell you about our restaurant.
“As I’m sure you know, this is a farm-to-table establishment, and our chef takes his mandate very seriously. He buys only organic and locally raised product. In fact, most of our vegetables are grown right here in Atlanta, inside the Perimeter, and brought to the restaurant in a horse-drawn carriage to reduce our carbon footprint. We consider ourselves responsible stewards of the Earth’s future. Why, we even compost the horse manure for our kitchen garden.”
“Well, that’s quite admirable. We are trying to catch a movie, so do you think we could be out of here by, say, 8 o’clock?”
“That may prove difficult. Have you ever heard of the slow food movement? We are glacially slow and proud of it. We believe good, wholesome food takes time to grow, to select and to prepare. Our cooks cure all their meats, pickle their own vegetables and chop all their firewood to order. The servers never, ever rush them. See that table over there? Those people have been here since Thursday, and they couldn’t be happier.”
“Then let’s get our order in right away. What do you recommend?”
“You must try our tomato salad. You choose the heirloom variety that most suits your mood, and the sommelier will bring out a perfectly matched wine. Gourmet magazine said that tomatoes haven’t been this good since the days of feudalism.”
“I see. Well, would you recommend the Zapotec Pleated Tomato?”
“Brilliant choice, sir. This pink Oaxacan variety has pleated ruffles and looks absolutely stunning on the plate.”
“And how does the chef prepare it?”
“He puts it on the plate. Taking a knife to it would bruise the flesh.”
“OK, sold. Now for my main course. I was looking at the menu, but it doesn’t appear that you serve any kind of meat other than pork.”
“Yes, the chef believes that pork is the only ‘cool’ meat. In fact, later in the evening he’ll come into the dining room wearing just a Speedo and a toque to show you his head-to-toe tattoos of primal-cut pork. Aren’t you curious to know where the Boston butt comes from?”
“Not really. I’m supposed to pick the breed?”
“Yes! Different breeds of heirloom pork have subtly different characters, and our sommelier would be more than happy to find a matching wine for the breed you choose. Trust me on this one: the Kurobuta rocks out a pinot noir.”
“Then let’s go for it.”
“Another excellent choice. I hope you realize that all of our pigs were humanely raised in an Inman Park Victorian and then personally slaughtered by the chef, who cried. Up until the end it was just like ‘The Real World: Atlanta’ for them.”
“Fine, could I get some bread to start?”
“Let me check on that. The girl who prepares it had a little accident at our grist mill today, so the bread service may be delayed. In the meantime let me call the aqua-sommelier over. In order to conserve our precious natural resources, we offer a choice of artesian spring waters from the four corners of the Earth.”
By JOHN KESSLER
John Kessler writes food features and a column about food and more for The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I remember my first experience with a place like this.
The old Indigo in Morningside/Va Highland...what's the special of the day? " Morning harvested, virgin St. George blue scallops gathered by a left handed diver, roasted in parchment [ read, an old coffee filter ] with a gathering of late summer baby indian corn and heirloom tomatillos ......." as if the vegetables gathered them selves together on the plate...
Thursday, September 04, 2008
“Hi, Meghan. What’s good here?”
“Have you ever dined with us before? No? Then please allow me a few minutes, bordering on a very brief and entertaining hour, to tell you about our restaurant.
“As I’m sure you know, this is a farm-to-table establishment, and our chef takes his mandate very seriously. He buys only organic and locally raised product. In fact, most of our vegetables are grown right here in Atlanta, inside the Perimeter, and brought to the restaurant in a horse-drawn carriage to reduce our carbon footprint. We consider ourselves responsible stewards of the Earth’s future. Why, we even compost the horse manure for our kitchen garden.”
“Well, that’s quite admirable. We are trying to catch a movie, so do you think we could be out of here by, say, 8 o’clock?”
“That may prove difficult. Have you ever heard of the slow food movement? We are glacially slow and proud of it. We believe good, wholesome food takes time to grow, to select and to prepare. Our cooks cure all their meats, pickle their own vegetables and chop all their firewood to order. The servers never, ever rush them. See that table over there? Those people have been here since Thursday, and they couldn’t be happier.”
“Then let’s get our order in right away. What do you recommend?”
“You must try our tomato salad. You choose the heirloom variety that most suits your mood, and the sommelier will bring out a perfectly matched wine. Gourmet magazine said that tomatoes haven’t been this good since the days of feudalism.”
“I see. Well, would you recommend the Zapotec Pleated Tomato?”
“Brilliant choice, sir. This pink Oaxacan variety has pleated ruffles and looks absolutely stunning on the plate.”
“And how does the chef prepare it?”
“He puts it on the plate. Taking a knife to it would bruise the flesh.”
“OK, sold. Now for my main course. I was looking at the menu, but it doesn’t appear that you serve any kind of meat other than pork.”
“Yes, the chef believes that pork is the only ‘cool’ meat. In fact, later in the evening he’ll come into the dining room wearing just a Speedo and a toque to show you his head-to-toe tattoos of primal-cut pork. Aren’t you curious to know where the Boston butt comes from?”
“Not really. I’m supposed to pick the breed?”
“Yes! Different breeds of heirloom pork have subtly different characters, and our sommelier would be more than happy to find a matching wine for the breed you choose. Trust me on this one: the Kurobuta rocks out a pinot noir.”
“Then let’s go for it.”
“Another excellent choice. I hope you realize that all of our pigs were humanely raised in an Inman Park Victorian and then personally slaughtered by the chef, who cried. Up until the end it was just like ‘The Real World: Atlanta’ for them.”
“Fine, could I get some bread to start?”
“Let me check on that. The girl who prepares it had a little accident at our grist mill today, so the bread service may be delayed. In the meantime let me call the aqua-sommelier over. In order to conserve our precious natural resources, we offer a choice of artesian spring waters from the four corners of the Earth.”
By JOHN KESSLER
John Kessler writes food features and a column about food and more for The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I remember my first experience with a place like this.
The old Indigo in Morningside/Va Highland...what's the special of the day? " Morning harvested, virgin St. George blue scallops gathered by a left handed diver, roasted in parchment [ read, an old coffee filter ] with a gathering of late summer baby indian corn and heirloom tomatillos ......." as if the vegetables gathered them selves together on the plate...
Thursday, September 04, 2008
Sunday, September 7, 2008
O'Reilly: Against Unwed Pregnant Teens Until He Saw 'Juno'
The Daily Show did one of their patented "public figures contradicting themselves on tape" routines last night, and this time they had a wealth of material. It was all related to Governor Sarah Palin, the Republican nominee for Vice President. She is by all sane accounts inexperienced. Also she has a bit of family drama with her unwed teen daughter being all pregnant and stuff! This, obviously, is "off-limits" because everyone has declared it "off-limits" to talk about children that way. Unless those children are, like, related to famous people and on TV sometimes! Then their parents are nimrods. Just click through for Bill O'Reilly to explain it all.
From the Gawker
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Words of Wisdom from Kasey and Chase Eldredge
You're only young once, but you can be Immature forever.....
Friday, September 5, 2008
qualifications for President of the united states
My hero, Richard Dawkins, talks about intelligence and honesty, two qualities we presumably would find valuable in a President.
But first, he starts off by revealing studies that show the more intelligent a person is, the less likely they believe in organized religion or a personal god [ Lower case purposefully used ]
In a study of Nobel laureates 95% do not believe in "god"
Conversely, in order to be a successful candidate for President, you must proclaim your faith in god and pander to the ignorant masses, or, if you are a non-believer, you must lie. There are no two ways about it. George Bush senior doesn't even consider non believers true patriotic citizens and I'm sure many in our country feel the same way. Watch the following video. It is truly frightening to realize that the smartest people in this country are automatically excluded from the top office. If you like this video, you should check out the other ones by him on you tube.
But first, he starts off by revealing studies that show the more intelligent a person is, the less likely they believe in organized religion or a personal god [ Lower case purposefully used ]
In a study of Nobel laureates 95% do not believe in "god"
Conversely, in order to be a successful candidate for President, you must proclaim your faith in god and pander to the ignorant masses, or, if you are a non-believer, you must lie. There are no two ways about it. George Bush senior doesn't even consider non believers true patriotic citizens and I'm sure many in our country feel the same way. Watch the following video. It is truly frightening to realize that the smartest people in this country are automatically excluded from the top office. If you like this video, you should check out the other ones by him on you tube.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
A note to my date from last night
Hey there, had fun last night. It’s so nice to go out with someone who is such good company [ when she’s not smoking ]
It just goes to show that there’s more to life than sex. trying to keep you from molesting me has been a pretty difficult task, but so rewarding. This way, we will get to know each other really well until you finally wear me down and have your way with me…then it could take a turn for the worse since you’ll like it so much…you’ll probably turn into some sort of stalker with a republican bent…I can hear you whispering now,” take me Bob, drill me, drill me until we are no longer dependent on foreign oil”…you are so nasty
;) bob
It just goes to show that there’s more to life than sex. trying to keep you from molesting me has been a pretty difficult task, but so rewarding. This way, we will get to know each other really well until you finally wear me down and have your way with me…then it could take a turn for the worse since you’ll like it so much…you’ll probably turn into some sort of stalker with a republican bent…I can hear you whispering now,” take me Bob, drill me, drill me until we are no longer dependent on foreign oil”…you are so nasty
;) bob
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
misAdventures in dating
Last night I had the best and worst of both worlds of match.com dating.
First, the worst....A young lady contacted me on match, we exchanged numbers and talked later in the day. She sounded interesting and she suggested we meet for a drink. I should admit that I have a comfort zone of places nearby that I like to meet match dates at, so that if they end up being nightmares, I can get drunk enough to suffer through the date, then walk home. This young lady, let's call her " J", would have none of that, and insists I drive OUTSIDE THE PERIMETER to meet her. Her pictures, which make her look like some kind of gymnast or cheerleader, persuade me to make the trek. She asks me to call her when I'm close to the bar she wants to meet at.
I call her when I realize the directions she has given me are wrong, but she doesn't answer. I call when I finally find the god forsaken place she had chosen, she doesn't answer. Did I mention, it was a fucking Applebee's?
I belly up to the bar a few minutes early and have a beer. When she shows up [ on time but neither a gymnast, nor a cheerleader, at least not in the last 20 years ] she apologizes for not answering my calls. She says she was on the other line with her credit card company. She says she had gone to Florida over the weekend with friends and realized someone had made several purchases on her credit card.
I told her she'd be ok, that once she disputes the charge, the CC co. will take the charges off her bill and investigate to find out who made the charges.
At this point she says " well the truth is, I made the charges, because the guy I was with didn't have any money, and he said he would write me a check, and the check bounced, and I don't think that's fair, because he'll never pay me, so I shouldn't have to pay for those charges."
So I said " YOU'RE AN IDIOT, on the verge of becoming a criminal"
this, mind you was within the first 5 minutes of the date.
I kill my beer and start to desperately flag down the waitress to say " Check please". the waitress meanwhile misinterprets my wild gesticulating to mean, Bring me another beer, NOW.... And when she arrives with the beer my "date" shouts " I want a steak, right now, I'm starving , so hurry up, and put some of those shrimp thingies on top of the steak"
At this point, I haven't eaten all day, have a major buzz, and am facing a 30 minute drive home. So I order some food too. the rest of the mercifully short date was spent with "J" making the most inane and ignorant comments I've ever heard.
At one point, I am telling a story about a guy on TV who is on a show about young real estate agents in LA. He is trying to get an older guy to list a house with him. The older guy comments how young the real estate agent looks. The agent says "yeah, I don't seem to age"...the older guy says "yeah, just like Dorian Gray"... to which the agent replies, " Cool, is Dorian Gray trying to sell a house, I'd love to work with him".....now I think this is just too funny....but then my date says..."I don't get it, who is Dorian Gray, is he like a rap star or some kind of celebrity? "
I say " haven't you ever heard of ' the picture of Dorian Gray'"?
She says, "Oh, He's in the movies?"
I'm like...NO, he's not a real person, he's a fictional character"
She says " I don't understand" I say "I gotta go"
so,for the best part of the night... I'm on the way home and I call Teresa, a very cool chick who I met on match, and I tell her about the disastrous date....she says [ tongue in cheek ] " you don't need to be alone tonight, after an experience like that, I will be right over, and we'll go out for a beer" I say mmmmmmmOK
hanging out with her made up for the early part of the night, big time.We stayed out till almost 1 am laughing and telling stories.
She also shared one of her dating disaster stories with me.
She said she was going out with this creepy psychiatrist, who told her " all the rich men who live on Sea Island [ a very exclusive island off the coast of Georgia ]
all are married to retarded women who they train as sex slaves.
Teresa says, that pretty much did it for her...maybe when she reads this she'll post a comment.
First, the worst....A young lady contacted me on match, we exchanged numbers and talked later in the day. She sounded interesting and she suggested we meet for a drink. I should admit that I have a comfort zone of places nearby that I like to meet match dates at, so that if they end up being nightmares, I can get drunk enough to suffer through the date, then walk home. This young lady, let's call her " J", would have none of that, and insists I drive OUTSIDE THE PERIMETER to meet her. Her pictures, which make her look like some kind of gymnast or cheerleader, persuade me to make the trek. She asks me to call her when I'm close to the bar she wants to meet at.
I call her when I realize the directions she has given me are wrong, but she doesn't answer. I call when I finally find the god forsaken place she had chosen, she doesn't answer. Did I mention, it was a fucking Applebee's?
I belly up to the bar a few minutes early and have a beer. When she shows up [ on time but neither a gymnast, nor a cheerleader, at least not in the last 20 years ] she apologizes for not answering my calls. She says she was on the other line with her credit card company. She says she had gone to Florida over the weekend with friends and realized someone had made several purchases on her credit card.
I told her she'd be ok, that once she disputes the charge, the CC co. will take the charges off her bill and investigate to find out who made the charges.
At this point she says " well the truth is, I made the charges, because the guy I was with didn't have any money, and he said he would write me a check, and the check bounced, and I don't think that's fair, because he'll never pay me, so I shouldn't have to pay for those charges."
So I said " YOU'RE AN IDIOT, on the verge of becoming a criminal"
this, mind you was within the first 5 minutes of the date.
I kill my beer and start to desperately flag down the waitress to say " Check please". the waitress meanwhile misinterprets my wild gesticulating to mean, Bring me another beer, NOW.... And when she arrives with the beer my "date" shouts " I want a steak, right now, I'm starving , so hurry up, and put some of those shrimp thingies on top of the steak"
At this point, I haven't eaten all day, have a major buzz, and am facing a 30 minute drive home. So I order some food too. the rest of the mercifully short date was spent with "J" making the most inane and ignorant comments I've ever heard.
At one point, I am telling a story about a guy on TV who is on a show about young real estate agents in LA. He is trying to get an older guy to list a house with him. The older guy comments how young the real estate agent looks. The agent says "yeah, I don't seem to age"...the older guy says "yeah, just like Dorian Gray"... to which the agent replies, " Cool, is Dorian Gray trying to sell a house, I'd love to work with him".....now I think this is just too funny....but then my date says..."I don't get it, who is Dorian Gray, is he like a rap star or some kind of celebrity? "
I say " haven't you ever heard of ' the picture of Dorian Gray'"?
She says, "Oh, He's in the movies?"
I'm like...NO, he's not a real person, he's a fictional character"
She says " I don't understand" I say "I gotta go"
so,for the best part of the night... I'm on the way home and I call Teresa, a very cool chick who I met on match, and I tell her about the disastrous date....she says [ tongue in cheek ] " you don't need to be alone tonight, after an experience like that, I will be right over, and we'll go out for a beer" I say mmmmmmmOK
hanging out with her made up for the early part of the night, big time.We stayed out till almost 1 am laughing and telling stories.
She also shared one of her dating disaster stories with me.
She said she was going out with this creepy psychiatrist, who told her " all the rich men who live on Sea Island [ a very exclusive island off the coast of Georgia ]
all are married to retarded women who they train as sex slaves.
Teresa says, that pretty much did it for her...maybe when she reads this she'll post a comment.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Monday, September 1, 2008
Weekly trivia contest results
My team didn't show up tonight for trivia, but I still had fun playing against the other teams....oh, and I won anyway !!! Here are some of the questions:
The 2 scientists who described the double helix of DNA were?
What confederate state lost the most number of men in the civil war?
Walter Reed, namesake of the military hospital was responsible for eradicating what disease [ and where]?
what is the style of hat worn by Popeye Doyle in the French connection and worn by Kid Rock called?
Last question:
the number of rifle shots in a salute to a US President times the number of Republicans depicted on Mt Rushmore plus the number of US presidents that have been impeached minus the minimum age for a US Senator.
The 2 scientists who described the double helix of DNA were?
What confederate state lost the most number of men in the civil war?
Walter Reed, namesake of the military hospital was responsible for eradicating what disease [ and where]?
what is the style of hat worn by Popeye Doyle in the French connection and worn by Kid Rock called?
Last question:
the number of rifle shots in a salute to a US President times the number of Republicans depicted on Mt Rushmore plus the number of US presidents that have been impeached minus the minimum age for a US Senator.
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