misAdventures in dating

Last night I had the best and worst of both worlds of match.com dating.
First, the worst....A young lady contacted me on match, we exchanged numbers and talked later in the day. She sounded interesting and she suggested we meet for a drink. I should admit that I have a comfort zone of places nearby that I like to meet match dates at, so that if they end up being nightmares, I can get drunk enough to suffer through the date, then walk home. This young lady, let's call her " J", would have none of that, and insists I drive OUTSIDE THE PERIMETER to meet her. Her pictures, which make her look like some kind of gymnast or cheerleader, persuade me to make the trek. She asks me to call her when I'm close to the bar she wants to meet at.
I call her when I realize the directions she has given me are wrong, but she doesn't answer. I call when I finally find the god forsaken place she had chosen, she doesn't answer. Did I mention, it was a fucking Applebee's?
I belly up to the bar a few minutes early and have a beer. When she shows up [ on time but neither a gymnast, nor a cheerleader, at least not in the last 20 years ] she apologizes for not answering my calls. She says she was on the other line with her credit card company. She says she had gone to Florida over the weekend with friends and realized someone had made several purchases on her credit card.
I told her she'd be ok, that once she disputes the charge, the CC co. will take the charges off her bill and investigate to find out who made the charges.
At this point she says " well the truth is, I made the charges, because the guy I was with didn't have any money, and he said he would write me a check, and the check bounced, and I don't think that's fair, because he'll never pay me, so I shouldn't have to pay for those charges."
So I said " YOU'RE AN IDIOT, on the verge of becoming a criminal"
this, mind you was within the first 5 minutes of the date.
I kill my beer and start to desperately flag down the waitress to say " Check please". the waitress meanwhile misinterprets my wild gesticulating to mean, Bring me another beer, NOW.... And when she arrives with the beer my "date" shouts " I want a steak, right now, I'm starving , so hurry up, and put some of those shrimp thingies on top of the steak"
At this point, I haven't eaten all day, have a major buzz, and am facing a 30 minute drive home. So I order some food too. the rest of the mercifully short date was spent with "J" making the most inane and ignorant comments I've ever heard.
At one point, I am telling a story about a guy on TV who is on a show about young real estate agents in LA. He is trying to get an older guy to list a house with him. The older guy comments how young the real estate agent looks. The agent says "yeah, I don't seem to age"...the older guy says "yeah, just like Dorian Gray"... to which the agent replies, " Cool, is Dorian Gray trying to sell a house, I'd love to work with him".....now I think this is just too funny....but then my date says..."I don't get it, who is Dorian Gray, is he like a rap star or some kind of celebrity? "
I say " haven't you ever heard of ' the picture of Dorian Gray'"?
She says, "Oh, He's in the movies?"
I'm like...NO, he's not a real person, he's a fictional character"
She says " I don't understand" I say "I gotta go"

so,for the best part of the night... I'm on the way home and I call Teresa, a very cool chick who I met on match, and I tell her about the disastrous date....she says [ tongue in cheek ] " you don't need to be alone tonight, after an experience like that, I will be right over, and we'll go out for a beer" I say mmmmmmmOK

hanging out with her made up for the early part of the night, big time.We stayed out till almost 1 am laughing and telling stories.
She also shared one of her dating disaster stories with me.
She said she was going out with this creepy psychiatrist, who told her " all the rich men who live on Sea Island [ a very exclusive island off the coast of Georgia ]
all are married to retarded women who they train as sex slaves.
Teresa says, that pretty much did it for her...maybe when she reads this she'll post a comment.